In which my inner cynic takes a back seat.

15 Oct

At least for today, I am putting the cynic to rest. At least two hours before bed last night I had taken the test out of the box, and set it unwrapped on the bathroom shelf. I would go in and look at it,  then flee the scene. I’m not sure what finally pushed me over to the other side. I just wanted to know, either way. I had reached the point where the hope of possibility wasn’t as compelling as the reality, no matter what it looked like.

That test turned positive within seconds of removing it from the stream. There was at least five minutes of jumping up and down in the bathroom with my husband.  I didn’t sleep much last night, not sure what to do with the barrage of feelings. Joy, and relief, tempered by caution and dread. I’ve been here before. I’ve had the blissful moments of early pregnancy only to have it snatched from my grasp. So I’m trying to stay grounded. I’m about to call the clinic and schedule a blood test for this morning.  I know that I’m old, and statistically this could easily be another bad egg, but for now I’m just going to try and enjoy it and not think about the possibility of another miscarriage.

I never in a million years thought it would happen this way. If it sticks, it’s going to make for a pretty good story.

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5 Responses to “In which my inner cynic takes a back seat.”

  1. lady pumpkin October 15, 2010 at 6:16 am #

    DENIIIIIIISSSSSSE! Oh my goodness, this is fantastic. I love it! the clinic explodes, and so it’s all you. WOW! Stickystickysticky thoughts from me to you. Now gets some sleep! Hooraaaaaayyyyy!

  2. Secret Sloper October 15, 2010 at 6:50 am #

    This is great!!! I’m going to hold lots of hope for you.

  3. No Baby Ruth October 15, 2010 at 7:47 am #

    EEEEEEEEEEekkkkkkkkk!!!! Yay!! That is so exciting!! Congratulations!!!

  4. cgd October 15, 2010 at 5:55 pm #

    YAY!!! congrats to you, this is such good news. Please keep us posted and let us know when you have more information.

  5. egghunt October 15, 2010 at 6:47 pm #

    W.O.W !!!!
    What a great story indeed!!
    Congratulations!!

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