Game Over

13 Sep

Well, despite feeling nothing of anything that usually alerts me to my period’s imminent arrival, it arrived. Quite suddenly and brutally. Luckily today was busy so I simply had to soldier on and put myself in autopilot. In some ways it was better than the weekend Day 1’s  I’ve grown accustomed to. It’s almost like my body knew I didn’t have the capacity to drown in self-pity and delayed my day of disappointment.

Because of my schedule this week, I can’t do Day 3 monitoring, so I am doing it on Day 2.  Driving home tonight though, I felt so tempted to take a cycle off. Just to take a few weeks to catch our breath, have a bit of a break from spending money on doctor’s visits and not think about any of this. Will I cancel my appointment tomorrow? Probably not. But I do think I’m going to discuss moving on to injectables, because Clomid seems to be having the effect of jellybeans. I think my best shot with IUI is going to involve me providing more targets and my old c-word buddy is only making one or two. Apparently not good enough, given their potential age-related decay.

And yes, I am drinking a glass of red wine right now. Why do you ask?


5 Responses to “Game Over”

  1. cgd September 14, 2010 at 4:17 am #

    I am so so sorry for this BFN. I think you have a good idea in asking about switching to injectibles, especially if you have tried clomid a few times. Back to back feels very taxing, a month off is a big help if you can take it, but I know that is hard to do as well.
    Thinking of you.

  2. Secret Sloper September 14, 2010 at 5:37 am #

    I’m so sorry. CD 1 is so hard, and I can only imagine it’s worse when you’re undergoing treatments and paying for the privilege of getting your period. I’m only a few days into my 2ww and already dreading AF’s arrival–due the day before my niece’s baby naming party. Sigh.

  3. My So-Called (TTC) Life September 14, 2010 at 8:53 am #

    Ahhh, we’re in the same boat sort of! I just had my CD1 on Saturday only to be benched this cycle yesterday with an effing 5cm cyst. So no IUI 3.5 for me this cycle. Sometimes I would wish I’d have to take a cycle off to maintain my sanity. But then when my RE makes me take a break I can’t stand it. I just wanted to move on after IUI #3 went bust. But alas, here I am. Hope things turn around for you :(. xo

  4. stacie September 14, 2010 at 11:39 am #

    so sorry. 😦

    I found that when I chose to take a break I enjoyed it very much (though the “breaks” that I don’t choose are torture). Good luck with the next one.

  5. lady pumpkin September 14, 2010 at 5:08 pm #

    Well, poop. I’m sorry, sweets. The hope against hope that accompanies a prolonged 2ww, followed by the rude awakening of yet another CD1…well, it just sucks. Not saying my way is the right way, but if you want to take a cycle or two off from all the hormones, would you consider looking into the needles-and-herbs side of the world? Regardless, hugs and love.

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