13 DPO: Easing My Way In

13 Aug

Around this time of my two week wait, I start to think about all the reasons that a negative would be OK. Just one more time. I’m amazed that I continue to come up with stuff, but I do. Well, some things are repeat performers, but here’s this month’s list.

1. Sunset Junction is coming up. Some friends who live in the neighborhood always throw a really fun party. At last year’s one, I  had huge amounts of fun and one too many alcoholic beverages. I was confident it would be the last of the junction parties I’d be able to enjoy this way. But yeah. I have been proven wrong a lot on this journey.  Anyway, this is also a group of friends that is mostly childless, so I don’t have have to wear the social misfit hat that has become all too familiar at summer barbecues, baby showers and family gatherings.

2. At the beginning of summer, I decided if I couldn’t have a big pregnant belly, I would whittle my existing belly into serious shape and stick to a workout routine. (I had become quite good at the one month on, two months off schedule.) Hubs has been motivating me and we have been getting up to go the gym or run around the reservoir almost every day. I know once I am pregnant (and stay that way) I will be paranoid about raising my heart rate, or dislodging the baby, or some other stupid catastrophe I’ll read about on the internet. I could become reluctant to do anything more hard core than take a gentle stroll. Or lie on the couch watching reruns of all the episodes of Flipping Out I missed before I discovered how awesome it is. (Zoila, I love you.) One more month to get in shape is not a bad thing before pregnancy. Right?

3. I recently got my M.A. in Clinical Psychology and am now working towards the MFT license. It is a long ass haul, and you need thousands (really, it’s thousands) of hours under your belt before you can take the licensing exam. I am a little over half way there. I never imagined I might actually be done with this process by the time I had a baby, but here’s yet another area I might be proved wrong. One more month of failure = one more month to get hours.

4. Speaking of hours, I am getting mine at a therapeutic preschool and kindergarten for kids with autistic spectrum disorders. One more month of failure means I’ll be around for more of the school year. These kids are pretty special, and you get quite attached to them and their progress, so it feels good to know you’ll see more of it.

5. I grew up in South Africa. It’s been a while since my last visit (grad school and getting married got in the way). We’ve been talking about going to see my family at the end of December, because there’s a really good deal on flights right now (that I’m sure I will miss out on because of putting-my-life-on-hold-for-infertility procrastination). Somehow I think the hell of that transatlantic crossing would be better if was less pregnant, or not at all. And then who knows if would want to travel at all if I was even remotely pregnant? Again with the paranoia.

So that’s five things I’m holding onto right now. Anyone else do this?

Also,  in WTF news, I recently compared my current prenatal vitamins to see how they stack up against the recommended doses in this book. (More on the book later.) Until now I had been confident that whatever brand I decided to buy that day (totally random choice every time) would meet all my fertility and pregnancy needs, and they do not. In fact they fail quite miserably. I would have been better off taking the Trader Joe’s multivitamin my husband takes. I am sure this is not the thing standing between me and a positive pregnancy test, but still. Maybe that’s what you get for going for the tasty gummy kind that are like a little bit of candy with your folic acid every morning.


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