Every Shedding Uterus has a Silver Lining

7 Jul

I don’t want this blog to be an endless stream of details about doctor’s visits, peeing on sticks and the arrival of my period. I miss blogging about life in general, and how it helped me stay sane through transitions. I hope to do more of that here, and prattle away about reality television, food, and things that irritate me. But I’m feeling the need to have an infertility blabfest right now. Maybe it’s something about finally getting real help. It’s exciting and nerve wracking, not to mention expensive, but I feel hopeful again. This is making me want to share way too many details. Something I may regret. But not every part of this is bad, as I’m about to tell you.

Day 1 is rough, as anybody who has wanted badly to make a baby and failed month after month knows very well. But hubs and I have come up with a way of dealing with its crushing disappointment. We plan and take a last-minute weekend jaunt that would be impossible with kids. The weekends we’ll miss when someone is harassing us to take them to Toys ‘R Us. AGAIN. We don’t do it every month, but lately it seems to be becoming a bit of a habit.

Our most recent hasty retreat was to the Desert Star Hotel in Palm Springs. Being a shade that requires me to wear a Hazmat suit while in direct sunlight, I never thought I was much of a desert girl. Turns out I am. We couldn’t have found a better place to spend a long weekend lounging poolside and drinking grapefruit margaritas blended in the gourmet kitchen of our mid-century motel room.  Owners Walter and Davey are wonderful, and I don’t think they have any interest in installing a kiddie pool, so we might as well enjoy the grown-up fun while we can.

Next we might try and get cheap tickets to Portland. Sometimes this indulgence makes us feel guilty — like we should be using all extra funds to pay for our fertility treatment, but neither of us wants to put our lives entirely on hold and be ruled by an unrelenting 28-day dictator.

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